Negotiation tool: Don't rush

Rushing is terrible because feeling rushed is a kind of anxiety. When we feel anxiety setting in, our minds drift towards thinking about threats and possible things that could go wrong. You do not want those clouds gathering in the mind of the meeting planner.

We all know we are in a negotiation situation to get something done. After all, even if you like negotiation, a walk in the woods would probably be more enjoyable. Still, you get nowhere by rushing.

A state of felt haste is the exact emotion you do not want to create.

Most people dislike making a decision when under pressure, and may feel cornered. They may, of course, still choose to commit to your suggestion in the negotiation. However, a much more likely outcome is that they will decide not to hire you on the on-the-spot calculation that this is the least risky option. 

A great way to avoid creating anxiety and haste is by setting a smaller objective than your counterpart expects. They may expect you to want to get a signed contract. Your goal (for this talk) may be just understanding their situation, to create a stronger case for your services.

When planners feel rushed, there is the added possibility that they do not voice their concerns. If they have concerns about your talk about your understanding of the audience or something else, you will never know unless they brought out into daylight. A rushed meeting planner, may subconsciously, avoid mentioning these. That is not good for you. You will not be able to clarify, and their concerns will take root.

On the other hand, if you have time to talk a bit about the weather, family, or other stuff, you send a clear signal that you are - on a human level - involved in this conversation.

In the end: people always want to be understood and accepted; it doesn’t matter if you are negotiating a $200 million merger or bed-time rules. Rushing is not understanding, and rushing leads to bad (or no) results.

Besides, scientists found that people tend to think they made poor choices if they made it fast. Unhappiness sets in regardless of the consequence of the decision. Also, the feeling of regret was more likely when choosing from a bigger collection of options.

I guess that’s why Tinder can make people on the dating market feel pretty disconnected and regretful 🤷‍♂️ - or in an example a little closer to home, why speaker directories have a hard time selling speakers.

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